Loneliness: The unspoken side-effect of aging

When people talk about the problems of aging, they most often focus on aches and pains, chronic conditions like heart failure or diabetes, and neurological disorders like Parkinson’s or Alzheimer’s. Often overlooked is the extremely common problem of loneliness.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reports that loneliness may pose a bigger threat than many other conditions. It increases a person’s risk of premature death from a variety of diseases. Social isolation is associated with a 50% increased risk of dementia, a 32% increased risk of stroke, and a 29% increased risk of heart disease.

 A study published in the journal “Aging and Society” found that social isolation researchers call “existential loneliness,” is a gradual “separation from the world” intensified by aging – and is not limited “to those experiencing extreme frailty or who face death imminently.”

 In other words, the older people get, the more isolated they feel.

 An article in the online magazine BigThink, written by the authors of the Aging and Society study, discusses four themes they uncovered in their research.

 That research, dubbed the Loneliness Project, was done by investigators from the University of Bath in the United Kingdom. It was a large-scale, in-depth exploration of how older people experience loneliness and what it means for them. They compiled 130 hours of conversations during extensive conversations with 80 older adults.

 In general, loneliness tends to fall into four categories of emotions.

 A sense of loss. Many people lose friends and loved ones as they age. Most of all, the authors wrote, they lost “things that had previously been a major part of feeling connected to something bigger than themselves.” They often lost the intimacy they had with spouses or partners, the loss of company or companionship, and the loss of routines associated with those people – like the routine of eating with a spouse.

 A sense of needing to maintain a “stiff upper lip.” Many older people lacked the ability to communicate about their feelings, mainly because those born in the early 20th century were effectively trained to quietly and unemotionally cope with their issues. Many older people grew up in a culture that frowned on emotional expression, which led to suppressing deeper feelings.  The result is that feelings of loneliness are repressed, often causing internal stress.

 A sense of heavy burdens or baggage. Older people carry a lifetime of emotional baggage, such as feelings of regret, betrayal and rejection -- and the wounds from past relationships. In this book, “Spiritual Dimensions of Aging,” gerontologist Malcolm Johnson writes, “Living to be old is still considered to be a great benefit. But dying slowly and painfully, with too much time to reflect and with little or no prospect of redressing harms, deficits, deceits, and emotional pain, has few redeeming features.”

 A sense that their lives no longer matter. People who live in isolation often have no one with whom to share their recollections, wisdom, or reflections. Without those human connections, people often begin to question their self-worth – or whether they lives matter any longer.

 These emotional issues are very real and becoming more important to society as human lifespan increases. Only by making sure older adults remain connected emotionally with others can we ensure that their quality of life is improved – and that society achieves the full benefit of longer lives.